Cigarettes Helps you Relax?

I’ve helped a lot of people quit smoking. While doing this, I’ve been told a lot of reasons why it is good to smoke.

I’ve been told smoking sharpens your mind, relaxes you, calms you, keeps you from yelling at the kids (or spouse), tastes good with coffee, tastes better after a meal. In short, makes you feel “better”. (I always ask “better than what”?)

You don’t believe these reasons. Not really. If you did, you wouldn’t also want to quit smoking. Right? Actually you CAN have it both ways. You can believe your reasons to smoke at the same time you don’t believe them. It is the difference between ‘knowing’ something and ‘feeling’ something.

The obvious and overlooked part is you must have a strong reason to continue smoking or you would have already stopped. By the way, there is no law that says your reason to keep smoking has to make any logical sense. It rarely does.

Almost all of the reasons you continue smoking can easily be proven wrong. Example: Maybe smoking helps you relax during work breaks because you get away and go outside to do it.

Even when you know the reason doesn’t make sense, that knowledge doesn’t always help you stop. It might just add to your frustration in the struggle to stop. Just one more reason to stop that doesn’t out-weigh the craving to continue.

It’s basically about two things. The motivation that smoking will make you feel better and the feeling that you’re trying to feel better than. That is all.

If you’re too hot, you look for ways to cool off. If you’re leg hurts you look for pain relief. If you feel bad (tired, stressed, overwhelmed, angry, lonely, whatever…) you look to feel good. If you have held the belief that smoking makes you feel good, that’s where your mind takes you.

This is simple explanation of a craving. Some smokers have more than one type of craving, the ‘first thing in the morning’ craving might feel different than the ‘on the phone’ craving.

So how to help this situation? I can spend a few articles explaining it (and I have, look for them) But, it comes down to changing the feelings, motivations and beliefs involved.

First, the ‘bad feeling’ side of things needs to be addressed. If it’s too much stress, get it managed, if it’s a situation that makes you lonely, do what you can to fix it, or look for help.

Second, the ‘looking to feel better’ side of things needs to be updated. (it’s common that this is about mistaken beliefs, formed when young, that smoking is about being an adult, in control, strong willed, independent, etc…) Of course, a cigarette is only leaf and chemicals wrapped in paper. The good feeling is the emotions your mind has attached to this action. It could just as easily be ice cream or cookies that your mind has attached good feelings with.

And there’s the trick for most people. Successfully quitting smoking is much easier after changing these emotional connections. People don’t often think of this. That is why the success rate of medication and nicotine replacement alone is so poor. The only current exception is Chantix and even Pfizer, the makers of Chantix, recommend behavior modification along with their medication.

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