Comments on: How Can I Safely Visit My Mother In Law Who Is Dying But Refuses To Stop Smoking Around Me And My Two Year Old

By: prncsb

prncsb — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 20:24:46 +0000

I think the best thing you can do is try to tell them that its dangerous for you and your son to be around the smoke for health reasons, but on a deathbed, people can usually care less about the health of others. Stick it out if you can, but dont do anything to put you and yours at risk healthwise

By: Metal Discussions

Metal Discussions — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 16:24:59 +0000

You both are right, the best is to come to an agreement so you can enjoy your last weeks together as a family

By: hopeamel

hopeamel — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 10:01:15 +0000

well visit her for only 5 minutes that would not hurt

By: jillie76

jillie76 — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 04:22:20 +0000

I am a smoker myself, yet I agree that she should have the courtesy to respect your wishes and the health or you and your family. She is well aware of the harm that smoking causes (as we all are) and should be considerate enough to not inflict it on anyone else. I do not smoke in my house now, because of my children, but I used too before they were born. But I always took it outside when I had company that was bothered by it or if children were present. I did not feel offended or put out by it. It’s not a big sacrifice to be able to spend time with your loved ones. Call her before you come over & politely ask if she can refrain from smoking just while in the presence of you and your child. If she refuses and it affects your son to that extreme after being there, I would not go anymore. It’s her fault not yours. Your son and his health are more important. It’s not too much to ask of her to go without a smoke for an hour or 2. Good luck!

By: dmercer1

dmercer1 — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 03:41:34 +0000

My grandparents are the same way. My grandma says its her house and “Fresh Air Freaks” can go outside. They just moved to a new house and so now we have holidays and stuff over there instead of my aunts. I told my grandma that I couldnt come over there when I was pregnant and after I had the baby I told them I couldnt come over there unless they aired it out, otherwise they could come outside to see the baby. My grandma now limits smoking to the tv room when I am coming over, and she opens all windows and doors before I come over, and they stay open while I am there. My 6 year old has the same problem as your son, when he is around smoke he gets congested and before he got tubes in his ears he would get an ear infection. I just told them they had a choice, air out the house and dont smoke by us for an hour, or we dont come over. I suppose that if she is dying and just refuses to do it then visiting once in awhile wont harm your son or the baby in your belly. As long as it isnt a long time thing. If she refuses just limit your visits, or tell her that the doctor said that your son is allergic to smoke and he can not be around it at all. Maybe then she will not smoke while you are there. Its hard when people smoke their house up like its a chiminey and you have to come over. I would leave their house and not be able to breath very well for a few days, and just running in the house and picking up some thing from my grandma, which took 2 minutes max, left my 7 week old smelling like smoke. Its so gross! I hope you can figure some thing out!